Goodbye Expensive Clothes and Good Riddance

As my husband and I prepared to take on parenthood, one thing we couldn't escape was the stress over money. We spent a lot of time talking about how we were going to save. We came up with a list of things we could cut out if money was tight. I could buy less clothes. He could buy fewer video games. We won't take any more expensive trips, at least, not for awhile. We could do without cable if we need to, but God we hope it doesn't come to that! And then there was the decision for me to stop working. We were fearful of even less money coming in, but we didn't realize how much money we would save without even trying.

In Raleigh, N.C., good day care is a mortgage payment. The amount we would take home if I kept working just didn't hold to the priceless advantage of being home with the baby as he grew. Then there's, you know, taking care of a baby 24/7. I forgot to consider that I would be so busy caring for a newborn that I wouldn't even have time to THINK about any shopping outside of basic needs and baby stuff, let alone, go. Old shopping habits quickly disappear when you have someone else to think about full time.

The first time I went (self) shopping at all since the birth of our son was at his six month mark. I kept forgetting about a gift certificate I had in my wallet since Christmas to one of my favorite clothing stores. I saved it because I was six months pregnant when it was given to me. I opted to wait to buy myself new clothes until I had some idea on what my new weight might be post-birth.

Jump to nine months later, I was grateful to be back to my pre-pregnancy weight (sorry for the brag, but I worked hard for that!) and feeling ready to indulge in something pretty to wear. I drove to the mall on a Saturday so my husband could watch our son and I wouldn't be pressed on time during my shopping trip. As any parent knows, the baby clock is always in danger of expiring at any moment, ready to fill the store with cries.

I remember feeling excited as I made the trek across the mall parking lot. Shopping— weeeee! My walking pace was a fast stride as I made my way inside and approached the clothing store I had not laid eyes on in so long. As I crossed the threshold into my beloved store, my eyes were all a glow. There were pretty skirts and blouses and pants dressing the ridiculously-sized mannequins. There were cute little dresses and fancy scarves, but my eyes were searching for some of the more "low-key" clothing.

I kept thinking, where are the cute sweat pants? What about some t-shirts that I won't mind getting drool and spit up on? Immediately two things struck me: a) they don't really sell those and b) this store was no longer for me. It was great for the working girl with meetings to attend, but for a mommy? Impractical!

I was conflicted. I was a little sad that I no longer had a real reason to buy any of the pretty things hanging in this store. I got used to prettying up! But then the sadness was quickly replaced with RELIEF that I no longer had a reason to buy any of these clothes. I realized cutting back on my clothes budget was not going to be a problem. I thought it would be difficult to give up, but it wasn't. Talk about going cold turkey!

I can't even remember what I spent the gift certificate on in that store. I think I found the only pair of stretchy pants and t-shirt they sold along with some socks and I was on my way home. I haven't even thought about that store since that last trip (minus one passing during Christmas shopping) and I have no plans on returning any time soon.

I look around at my closet now and see a lot of clothes I don't really need. I also realize I have more than enough to last me for a long time. I certainly flip laundry quick enough now with a baby. Occasionally, I find a reason to wear a nice top and shoes just to feel "special," but otherwise, I'm back to my old college days of being comfortable. I've always been a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl and it's funny how working changed that a bit. I got used to the idea that I need to look nice all the time. Let me re-phrase. It's not that I don't look nice now, but I'm not dressed up for business. You know what I mean! No heels. Hooray! My feet are grateful. Now I dress for baby changing, feeding, play time and errands around town. And that's just fine by me.

New Mom Here-- Welcome!

It's been almost nine months since I became a mom, which means it's been nine months since I've done any real writing, let alone, work on my former blog: Fiction Foodie. That's right! I gave up working and became a stay-at-home mom.

It was an easy decision to stay home for our baby boy— no one WANTS to leave their child with someone else all day. It was, however, difficult knowing that after years of working and honing my writing skills, I would likely stop getting any practice. And thus become the worst writer ever. Dramatic? Perhaps.

I just completed a year and a half of going back to school earning a professional writing certificate and was worried that it might go to waste. Knowing this, my supportive husband gave me a book several months ago for Mother's Day about how to get published while being a stay-home mom. The gesture was very sweet, but there was a problem with the book. It was all about becoming a freelance writer and making money and I wasn't finding it to be very helpful. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at every page. It rattled on and on about how to write when baby sleeps (yeah, good luck!) and you have to make time to do the thing you love. "You can do it— yay!" Use your established connections (But what if I don't have any?). Like I said— eye roll. At the book, not my husband.

Sure, that's great, but in reality I want to be an attentive stay-home mom. My focus is my child and not making money, which was the whole point of staying home. I don't want the stress of working and managing a kid if I don't have to! But writers need to write. When our son was first born, finding any "me" time was quite difficult. I gave up on any thought of writing while I am at home. It was just too much work when there were basic household chores to do and even getting those accomplished was a battle. Then life slowly got a little easier as our son grew from newborn to infant. No more round the clock feedings and constant sleep interruptions (sort of). I found things get easier to accomplish as you get into the "groove" of being a parent and on occasion, I find myself twiddling my thumbs about what to do while baby sleeps for a short while— might I add, a very short while. Shortest... napper... ever. Gotta fit in some "me" time quick, but what should I do? Catch up on the old DVR? Put the laundry away? Take a nap?

Then I remembered my long forgotten blog. Self publication— hazaa! I can write without the stress of someone else pushing deadlines as long as the cleanliness of the house and sleep can be put on hold for one or two naps a week. I started to tinker back in October, unsure of exactly how I wanted to approach this. I even posted a first version of this entry back then and quickly decided I didn't like it so I didn't bother to announce it's publication. I thought I would fix it, then share. Then I found myself distracted with other things and next thing you know it's December. Failure to announce is failure to keep working. So here we are! I'm biting the bullet and sharing this thing. Thanks to my husband who will not allow me any more excuses to not write. He knows what he's done!

My hope for this blog is to share my stay-at-home mom perspective through observations and stories that I hope will keep my brain fresh and make you laugh. I can't promise that it won't have the occasional child update and doting remarks, but my plan is to stick to the topic that springs out of any given situation with my son and spare him as much embarrassment as I can. Remember, I didn't promise.

Stay tuned for The Adventures of Home Mommyhood!